On uncertainty

When I was young, the future wasn't a mystery. I operated on other people's plans for my life. What I ate, wore, where I went to school, they also determined who I was friends with, what I'd be doing next year, heck - what career path I should choose... etc.

But when I became a free thinking adult, and got to that point where I've to choose my path, not because someone else chose it for me but I genuinely chose it for myself, all the unsettling anxiety of all future possibilities hit at once.

On one side of the coin, if you choose something because the people you respect and love have imposed their opinions on you - and out of fear of losing their approval, make a hasty decision, you end up living for other people, however successful you might become.

Then the other side of the coin is, when you're a high agency person, and you choose something you really believe in... in most cases you end up disappointing the expectations of people around. But you live a happy life because you lived true to your convictions.

The former means that if said path, that they said will make you successful never works out, you always a way out by blaming the people that said "this is the way... follow it!" Even though ultimately as adults we should own our screw-ups.

The latter, though, means that you fully own the consequences of your decisions, your calls, whether good or bad. It's the actual definition of "no-body is coming to save you." And the greatest suck has got to be people saying "we told you all this while. You should have listened."

When you win, however controversial the path you're on, even the haters become your greatest supporters... those that used to say "you won't make it" switch to "we knew you'd crush it."

But when you lose, or the results of your labor are delayed, it seems like the haters... (ok, haters is too heavy, lemme call them skeptics moving forward), are all of a sudden vindicated.

They feel right. And in their eyes you were wrong all this time.

I mean, there're nuances to this thing, you should always take feedback from people... BUT some feedback is just people imposing their limiting beliefs on you. It didn't work for me therefore it'll not work for you.

And that dilemma between the two sides of the coin, the balance between the two paths - I find to be full of so much uncertainty.

Success is not a guarantee after all.

It feels like the path before you, especially when you choose your way, is filled with a thick darkness. A darkness that in no way implies that the path is evil, BUT a darkness that means that this path is unexplored.

And finding the courage to tread down that path has got to be one of the hardest things a person will undertake.

You start your journey with more questions than answers. And there is absolutely no instruction manual on how to get to the desired end. You have to find your way in the dark. Trial and error. Spinning the wheel enough times until something finally works.

Death is the only certainty

Some would argue that people born into the finer things of life have a head start. I mean they've more than the basic necessities of life. They swim in abundance.

There's no doubt that whoever said "money is the root of all evil" simply didn't know where to go shop... We all love the almighty green buck. It buys you optionality and all the fine things of this life.

But even with an infinite pool of resources, the rich are equally as depressed and anxious as the poor if not more.

Having a lot of resources might make you feel good but it won't satisfy the deep-seated human cravings of love, peace, joy, etc...

Heck, for anyone that has tried to be an entrepreneur, the anxiety never goes away. You're always uncertain about the future. Even with access to the best resources the world can offer. The best prediction models get it wrong all the time.

Other than death, the pendulum can swing either way, tomorrow is not determined.

We just have to do our best

Steve Jobs said something so profound... that when he was at Reed college after dropping out, he dropped in in a couple of lectures from other faculties that interested him, and while the "how" of how everything he was doing at the moment didn't make sense at the time, he hoped the dots would some day connect.

And they did connect.

Our best hope is to do our best every single waking day of our short lives. To try and be as useful as possible, to us, our societies and the wider human race... to follow our convictions and hearts where ever they may lead us, and accept the consequences of our decisions.

Whether good or bad, but at least we chose us. Despite the fear and uncertainty. We lived for us.